The Fragile Threads of Life, chapter one

"Oh no, just another half hour please", she whispered quietly as her 4 month old little girl Tanya stirred in her cot.  Yes, in half an hour she could get the ironing finished and hopefully have the sheets on the line flapping in the breeze.  Then she could take some time to play with Tanya, the part of parenting that she truly loved.  You could take those interrupted sleep patterns and poopy nappies away anytime, but as always in life, some good came with the bad.  Like the fact that they couldn't afford help around the house.  Most of her friends had a maid at least once a week, but with just one salary it was out of the question for Linda and Bob. 

She had grown up with servants - a full time maid, and a gardener once a week on Sundays.  That was just he way it was, here is South Africa, although sometimes she looked back on her growing up days and wondered how she had been so complacent about apartheid.   Gosh Martha was like a best friend to her, she remembered going down to the maids quarters and eating crummelpap, a type of mealiemeal that was quite coarse and sweet.  Her Mom had treated Martha like family, well, almost, you wanted to think so anyway.  Her mom had  always put aside money in a "retirement account", so that when Martha grew older and went back to live on the farm with the family, she had a nice little nest egg to take with her.  It was very common to have part of the family off working in the city.  That was just he way it was, a father off working in the mines, a grandmother off working in someones house.   Young mothers would work with babies on their backs, tied around with a blanket, always feeling the beat of their mothers heart and the gentle humming of lullabies.  Those babies never cried, and no wonder.  Always though, there was home on the farm, calling them back.  Sometimes it would be a forced location, a homeland designated by the apartheid days, but since apartheid ended, a lot of those bases had still stayed where they had been forced to set up home.   Too hard to up and move again, and anyway, those had now become home.    Just last year Linda had received word that Martha had died at home in her sleep, surrounded by her family, as she would have liked it.  As she deserved, a sweet gentle soul.

"cooooe," came  a voice from the little box by the door," let me in, this is  Annetjie".  sighing, Linda depressed the button and reached out to fill the kettle.  Annetjie would stay for tea, and there would be much chatting, "skinner" they called it here, a good name for the gossip women indulged in over a cup of tea and rusks.  By the time Annetjie was at the door having carefully locked and set the car alarm, and made sure that the big security gates had closed, Linda had the tea made and the rusks set out in the lounge. 

"Gosh, I am so tired of living in this place, with the security, bloody blacks, we gave them this country and now they are ruining it for us!"   I am not going to run away to Australia like all my friends are doing"  She looked pointedly at Linda.  this brought out a feeling of guilt once again in Linda.  She hated the feeling that her friends thought they were giving up on the country, betraying her heritage.  Bob had been offered a wonderful opportunity to start a new life for them in Brisbane and so they had jumped at the chance. It was going to be hard enough settling into a new country without feeling this guilty ache deep in the pit of her stomach.  It wasn't so much the crime.  It wasn't so much having to lock everything at night. It wasnt so much the  worry if this was the night someone was going to break in and rape her - or heaven bear the thought, her tiny little little Tanya.  No, the main thing she wanted was just to focus on life, on giving Tanya the best chance of having a normal life growing up.  She wanted Tanya to ride around on her bicycle with her friends.  Sure the cost of the move was going to be hard, but they were both young - they would be able to catch up financially. Bob was getting a transfer and so the firm was paying the moving costs, and he was going to step right into his new job.  You couldnt get better than that.  Really was it better to live in a huge house with lots of money and feeling unsafe, or to give up a bit of luxury and live in  a safer environment, with a little less stuff?. 

She turned to Annetjie, "Come on now" don't lets fight about it, it is going to happen, you know it and I know it, so lets just enjoy the time we have together.  Who knows you might move over one day and become an Aussie as well"   She knew that Annetjie thought the more whites moved away the less chance there was that once again South African would become again the wonderful, vibrant country of their childhood.  She and Annetjie had been friends since the first day of school.  Annetjie was the wild one, not even wanting to kiss her mother goodbye, sure that school was going to be another adventure in her life.  She had two older brothers and so was a bit of a tomboy.  Linda on the other hand, loved playing with her dolls, and dressing up, and as an only child was more protected, and held onto her mothers hand very, very tightly.  She was excited about school, but determined not to cry, although that big knot in her throat was threatening to overwhelm her. Once Annetjie became her friend though, things changed and she settled right into school, and loved it.  They played in the afternoons as well, and even their mothers became best friends. 

When Linda's mother developed ovarian cancer and died after a long protracted illness, Annetjie's mom, Grace became like a second mother to Linda.  No wonder Annetjie felt as though she was being betrayed.

The funny thing is that only since the decision had been made to move away did Linda feel a relief in being able to say to herself how much she hated living in this continual bubble of fear.  She supposed it was a protective instinct, otherwise you could go totally mad, focusing on what could happen.    Annetjie had married young, John was someone who had always been part of the group, and it was always assumed they would marry one day. It did not seem a particularly romantic attachment, but they clearly suited each other.  Linda and Bob had met on a plane when Linda had been working as a flight attendent.  After a whirlwind romance and beachside elopement on a romatic beach in Fiji, life settled down until she gave up flying when she found out she was pregnant.  Luckily both husbands found common ground and so the friendship was able to continue and grow even after they both married.  Many wonderful evenings had been spent at either house cooking a dinner together and sharing a bottle of wine. Could it be the fact that Annetjie came from an Afrikaans background that she felt unable to leave the country of her birth?  Could it be that Linda and Bob had travelled more and been exposed to places where the main focus on conversation was not about what security company to convert to, but rather what concert was on at the local theatre?   

"Mom and I wanted to go and check out the new department store tommorrow, I really need some more slacks - do you want to go?"  Annetjie smiled, she was seldom upset for very long. "lets worry about when you leave when it happens ne?" Linda nodded, and then the wail began from the nursery.  "Can her Aunty Annetjie go and pick her up?" , the question was asked, but such was the rapport between them, that she was already out of the door before Linda nodded her assent.  Linda quickly put away the ironing board and the now cooled iron.  Most of the ironing had already been done, and she didnt like to leave things that that around when Tanya was awake.  Sure, she was only just starting to roll over, but she knew that within the flash of any eye a baby could develop to the next stage.  How horrible it would be to have your baby crawl over to the ironing board and pull it over on top of herself, scalding her delicate skin with the hot water from the steam iron.  Honestly, she told herself, your imagination gets away with you sometimes, and closing the laundry cupboard she wandered into the nursery to find Tanya giggling and laughing with her auntie as she was changed into one of her pretty pink dresses.  A flash of sadness passed through Annetjies eyes and Tanya knew she was wondering if she would ever concieve.   "Best dress - we are going out are we?", she asked, but Annetjie just nodded and said - "really, you need to dress her in her very prettiest dresses whenever you can, dont save them for a better time, look this is already getting too small and she has hardly worn it" 

The shrill ring of the phone broke the companionable silence as they both admired tiny Tanya in her sunday best dress.  "Hello love" Linda answered gently into the phone, leaving to walk into the living room, "gosh, so sooon!  Heavens, there is so much to do, no, no we can make it, and I just hope we can sell the house, I dont want to stay on here on my own without you.  No, Annetjie is here, ya...no, we were talking about  going shopping tommorrow, but maybe that will have to change. Ok, love, see you later, bye."

"Annetjie," she yelled out, running back into the nursery and almost crashing into her friend as they met in the doorway.  "What, what?  Whats happened my friend - some thing bad?"  Oh no dont tell me - your application has been approved?  You are leaving me?  Forever, part of my heart going, abandoning me!"  as Linda nodded they caught in a  a loving embrace,  squishing Tanya between them.  Two friends, who knew the hearthache that was to come.  Such is life, it takes twists and turns, good times and bad. 

 Lots of their friends had already emmigrated to other countries, and each time, it seemed as if you would never get over not seeing them again, but time eases hearthache, and both these good friends were not sure that they wanted their friendship and love for each other  to ease.  They had promised that there would be lots of contact, and visits so that Tanya at least would grow up knowing who her Auntie Annetjie was. 

"Come man, lets make a list of things that need to be done," said Annetjie "always the practical one, "first we need to figure out what is going, and you have already started on that, she nodded to the pile of boxes already stacked in the corner. It is a pity that we cant have a jumble sale like we used to.  Just not safe.  So lets get together anything you dont want to take, but feel it is worth something and lets sell it on e-bay.  How about that? - we can make a pile in that corner, there, and take some photos, and then post them this afternoon already.  My mom is very good at that, maybe I will give her a call and ask her to give us a hand, OK lammetjie?"   This endearment, small lamb, had not been used for many years, but it somehow portrayed the idea that Annetjie was once agian holding the reigns, just as that first day at school, when Linda had needed a boost of confidence.  Her heart skipped a beat - who was she kidding, that she thought she would be able to manage in a new country without her best friend by her side......

By the time  Annetjie and her mom  pulled out of Tanyas driveway late that afternoon (luckily Annetjie had put a lamb stew in the crockpot earlier that morning)  there were already 20 items posted on e-bay.  The real-estate agent was going to call around in the morning with ideas and suggestions on how to sell a house quickly.  This was not unusual, as the brain drain was in full effect, and people were selling and moving out as fast as they could. This was going to happen - their marvellous friendship was going to be stretched to the limits.

After that it was just a whir of packing and getting ready to leave.  Lots of paperwork, and then joy of joys - an offer on the house, so that they would all be able to leave together.  Linda, Tanya and Bob loaded up into the car and drove the long eight hours to the coast for a week of holidaying with Bobs parents.  This was going to be hard on them, not being so physically close to their son and grand-daughter, but they understood and had already put aside some savings into an account so that they would be able to take regular trips to see them in Australia.
What a magical week that was - it was out of season and so the beaches were empty and clean, and Tanya loved sitting in the surf and laughing every time a wave knocked her over.  It was just what they needed, and Annetjie had promised to swing by the house every day just to make sure everything was OK and it make it look as though there was someone at home.  The lights were set to go on and off automatically, and there was even a  radio set to turn on and off.  One just had to do these things in order to prevent burglaries, and often when a family was away on holiday the house would be a prime target.
Arriving back home to the living room packed with boxes and bits of furniture taken apart and then carefully wrapped to make the journey in a container, things seemed to all be falling into place.  They fell into bed that first night thinking that it would just be a couple more weeks and they would be starting a new life together in a  new country.  Crash, splintering glass..... then muffled voices.   Linda reached out in fear for Bob's hand and squeezed.   They had always said that if anyone broke in they would not try to fight - there was a security alarm which was carefully set every night, and the criminals knew how long it would take until the sirens came down the road.  It was so common, and it was amazing that they in fact had never before been robbed.  They must have been watching the house and thought they were still away.  Rather let them think that than come into the bedroom and ...... oh no Linda quckly sqashed that thought.  She thought of tiny Tanya, in the nursery, and breathed a silent prayer. "Please God dont let her cry out". 
The "rape gate" that led to the bedrooms was securely locked - something they both checked on every night.  They both lay there, listening to the group ransacking their house.  This had happened before to others, and Linda had always said she would not be able to lie there, still as a mouse while all her possessions were being picked over in the other room,  This time it had happened to her though, and all she could think of was preserving the safely of their little nucleus of a family.  It seems years until there was shouting, a bit of shuffling and then silence... no, there were the sirens.   "Thank you God", she breathed.  Then the noise began, shouting and lights and Tanya waking up and screaming, and Linda found herself in the nursery, sobbing sighs of relief against her little one, her precious little one.  Gosh, what a relief, to know that they had survived.  What a relief to know that they were already leaving this country.  This country of fear and insecurity and mayhem............